I said A, now I say B

It is said that different people have different point of view on the same things. Money means differntly for different people, so do love, politic issues, good food, etc.

But now I feel that it is also true to say that at different point of time, we have different point of view on the same things. It is simply because our mental state keep on changing, so Eddy 1 hour ago, and Eddy 1 hour later is not the same. This explain why one said A, then say B.

Thinking back, there are a few occasions where people said A to me, but then later they say and do B, which confuse and sometimes irritate me. Now that I think back, it is a very silly of myself to do so, because all I got is more unwholesome thoughts and bad kamma. 

Also, by realizing this, a lot of my negative thoughts on people cease. It is so wonderful. So here, I witness how wisdom can bring joy and happiness. ^^

"Expecting people to be the same all the time is going to bring us suffering"~ Eddy.

Indeed, to expect others to be like this and like that, is dukkha. In short, the five aggregates are dukkha. 

A reflection on the mental attitude

When I am taking a fiesta this afternoon, a flash of high school memory come across my mind. I realize that I do really well in my high school study. Then, it come to my thoughts that in high school, I never really complain on any particular subjects, and yeah, I think I do quite well in all the subjects. I just took any difficult subject slowly, and just study them. Yeah, just study them, without really complaining that this hard, that not good, notes not good. Well, I refer more on my textbooks than my notes last time, so notes are not that important that time. But the point is, in studying a certain thing, I really go through them thoroughly, and "just study" them, until I get the point. 

Unlike now, I like to complain that this module is hard, the notes is not good, the lecturer is lousy, and so forth. In short, I keep on looking outward, to the things that is out of my control, rather than focusing in the things that are in my control. 

Now, I won't mind not going to lecture, skipping some chapters, not doing homework (I was not that diligent also, but still at least do my homework, though a lot of last minute). And as a result, I am not able to get a clear picture of some of the module. 

So, I suppose I have to change this attitude. Should take things more seriously.

Although I have agreed to play more and not serious in the university, I feel that I still don;t have a lot of spare time. I still spend a lot of time doing my school related work. So, I think it is better to be focus and serious. The key here is to be efficient, and at the same time, balance.

Well, I still got 2 more semester in NUS, so I think I may try new method. Ha ha. Of course, I still follow the motto" most with the least".

Ha ha

I am going home

Yeah. Exams are over. But i feel bloodyly tired. I feel like my mental is so weak and tired.

Yesterday and today are quite busy with packaging, and tomorow, I will fly back to Medan.

I realize that even after exam, my mental is still so stressed and tired. It seems that this is my heaviest semester in NUS, and a period where I lose my balance. I am acting weird sometimes also.

Ah... I am happy that it is over. So I can begin with my recovery. Next semester I shall not give myself too much stress. However, this actually shows my stress and pressure thresold, which is a good thing. I got to know myself better, and are clearer of where I should improve on. Clearly, I need to maintain my life balance, and to strengthen my heart. 

So, my recovery plan is mainly to strengthen my heart. I shall increase my meditation dosis. Looking backward, I actually hardly meditate regularly this semester, as oppose to previous semesters. And the difference is very clear. Even with short but regulat daily meditation, my heart are stronger, life is more balance, and my emotion is stable. I realize that my emotion has been very unstable this semester. Then, I shall read more edifying book. Book is cetainly a very useful medium to influence myself. Then, of course, some entertainment as well. I have been looking forward to watch movies... He he.

So, tomorow I am going home. Time really flies so fast. I feel that CNY is just s while ago, and now suddenly May has come, meaning that I have spent one third of 2009. WUah!

But now, what the heck! I dun wanna think so much. I just wanna go home. 

A wonderful video

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

It's quite sad that dispite our super technology and super economy growth in some countries, milions of people are still dying because of stravation.

How can we help them?

This is a free translation: Please correct me if I am wrong.. (:

The paradox in our life is that

we have more high rise building, but are short in patience

wider expressways, but narrower perspective

we buy more, but have less

we spend more, but enjoy less

we have bigger houses with smaller families, 

more comfortable, but with lesser time

we have more degree, but less logic

more knowledge, but less value

more experts, but more problems

more medicne, but less health

we drink and smoke too much

spend time heedlessly

laugh too little, drive too fast

a lot of anger, sleep too late

wake up tired, read too little

watch too much TV, pray too rarely

We have multiplied our things, but diminish our value

we talk too much, and love less, and more hatred

we learn how to earn money, but not life

we have had more years in our life,

but not the life in those years

we have reached the moon,

but have difficulties in crossing the road,

and meeting a new neighbour

we have beaten the space, but not our inner

we have do big things, but not better one

we have clean the air, but pollute our heart

we have defeat atoms, but not discrimination

we have writen more things, but learn less

we plan more, but acheive less

we have learn how to rush, but not to wait

we make more computer to store more information,

have more fotocopy,

but communicate less

this is the era of fast food and slower digestion

great people with weak character,

high profit and weak relationship

this is the era where there is two incomes, but more divorce

more luxurious home, but broken family

this is the era where the journey is shorter,

one time use diaper, easy to throw morality,

one night relationship, excessive weight,

and pills that do everything from calming down to killing

Remember...

spend more time with the loved one,

for they won't be here forever

Remember...

say good words to your kids, 

for they are going to grow and leave you

Remember...

give a warm hugs to people around you

coz that is one of few things that can be given with heart and without money

Remember...

to say "I love u"

for your love one,

kiss and hug can cure the wound,

when it is done from the bottom of the heart

Remember...

hold each other hand and enjoy the moment,

for one day he or she will no longer be here

give time to love

give time to talk

and give time

to share what is in your mind

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

life is not measured by the number of our breaths

but by how we spend it.

***

I am quite agree to this, but not all though,

However, I believe we do need to sit back and relfect upon our life,

what have we done? Have we done the right things?

What is the most important things in life?

And so forth.

Life is short.. In a moment, one year, two years, 10 years will soon pass..

If we don't use it well, than that's it.. we can't turn back time.

This is email forwared to me. So beautiful...

Paradoks dalam zaman di masa hidup kita adalah  
bahwa kita memiliki gedung-gedung yang lebih tinggi tetapi kesabaran yang pendek,  
jalan bebas hambatan yang lebih lebar tetapi sudut pandang yang lebih sempit.  

Kita mengeluarkan uang lebih banyak, tetapi memiliki lebih sedikit;  
kita membeli lebih banyak, tetapi menikmati lebih sedikit.  

Kita memiliki rumah yang lebih besar dan keluarga yang lebih kecil,  
lebih nyaman, tetapi waktu yang lebih sedikit.  

Kita memiliki lebih banyak gelar, tetapi logika yang lebih sedikit;  
lebih banyak pengetahuan, tetapi penilaian yang lebih sedikit;  
lebih banyak ahli, tetapi lebih banyak masalah;  
lebih banyak obat-obatan, tetapi kesehatan yang lebih sedikit.  

Kita minum dan merokok terlalu banyak,  
meluangkan waktu dengan terlalu ceroboh,  
tertawa terlalu sedikit, menyetir terlalu cepat,  
marah terlalu besar, tidur terlalu larut,  
bangun terlalu lelah, membaca terlalu sedikit,  
menonton TV terlalu banyak,  dan berdoa terlalu jarang.  

Kita telah melipatgandakan barang milik kita, tetapi mengurangi nilai kita.  

Kita terlalu banyak berbicara,  terlalu jarang mencintai,  
dan terlalu sering membenci.  
Kita telah belajar bagaimana mencari uang, tetapi bukan kehidupan.  

Kita telah menambah tahun-tahun dalam hidup kita,  
tetapi bukan kehidupan dalam tahun tahun tersebut.  

Kita telah mencapai bulan,  
tetapi memiliki masalah dalam menyeberang jalan dan  
menemui tetangga baru.  

Kita telah mengalahkan luar angkasa, tetapi bukan dalam diri kita.  

Kita telah melakukan hal-hal besar, tetapi bukan hal-hal yang lebih baik.  

Kita telah membersihkan udara, tetapi mengotori sang jiwa.  

Kita telah mengalahkan atom, tetapi bukan rasa diskriminasi.  

Kita menulis lebih banyak, tetapi mempelajari lebih sedikit.  
Kita berencana lebih banyak, tetapi mencapai lebih sedikit.  

Kita telah belajar untuk terburu-buru, tetapi bukan menunggu.  
Kita membuat lebih banyak komputer untuk menampung lebih banyak informasi,  
menghasilkan fotocopy yang lebih banyak,  
tetapi kita berkomunikasi semakin lebih sedikit.  

Ini adalah zaman dimana makanan siap saji dan pencernaan yang lambat,  
orang besar dengan karakter yang kecil,  
keuntungan yang tinggi dan hubungan yang renggang.  

Ini adalah zaman dimana ada dua penghasilan tetapi lebih banyak perceraian,  
rumah yang lebih mewah tetapi keluarga yang berantakan.  

Ini adalah zaman dimana perjalanan dibuat singkat,  
popok sekali pakai buang, moralitas yang mudah dibuang,  
hubungan satu malam, berat badan berlebihan,  
dan pil-pil yang melakukan segalanya dari menceriakan,  
menenangkan, sampai membunuh.  

Ini adalah zaman dimana banyak barang di etalase showroom  
dan tak ada stok dalam ruang persediaan.  
Zaman dimana teknologi dapat menyampaikan surat ini kepada Anda,  
dan zaman dimana Anda dapat memilih apakah Anda akan berbagi renungan ini,  
atau hanya tekan “hapus”…  

Ingatlah,  
luangkan lebih banyak waktu dengan orang yang Anda kasihi,  
karena mereka tidak akan ada selamanya.  

Ingatlah,  
ucapkan kata yang baik kepada orang yang memandang Anda dengan ketakutan,  
karena si kecil tersebut akan segera tumbuh besar dan meninggalkan Anda.  

Ingatlah,  
beri pelukan hangat kepada orang di sisi Anda,  
karena itulah satu-satunya harta yang dapat Anda berikan dengan hati  
dan tidak membutuhkan biaya.  

Ingatlah,  
katakan “saya menyayangimu”  
kepada pasangan Anda dan orang yang Anda kasihi, tetapi dengan penuh makna.  
Ciuman dan pelukan akan memperbaiki luka ketika  
dilakukan dari lubuk hati yang paling dalam.  

Ingatlah,  
bergandeng tangan dan nikmati saat itu  
karena suatu hari orang tersebut tidak akan ada lagi.  

Berikan waktu untuk mencintai,  
berikan waktu untuk berbicara!  
Dan berikan waktu  
untuk berbagi pikiran-pikiran yang berharga di benak Anda.  

DAN INGATLAH SELALU:  
Hidup tidak diukur oleh jumlah nafas kita,  
tetapi oleh saat-saat yang menghabiskan nafas kita. 

It has been long time

Wuah... SO long never blog d...

Haha..

Now suddenly feel like writing a blog.

Well, It has been quite tiring recently. I fall sick again also. Seems that my body has been quite weak recently, hope that it dun get worse like when I was in Primary. That time, I go to doctor almost once a month. Haih...

Anw, have finished my last essay for this semester. YAY! That is a big relief, as it has been haunting me for quite a while. So, I only left with 1 assignment: econometrics assignment, the E-view thing. And Vengky has agreed to held me. So, it wont be a much problem. Yay. Thanks Veng!

After this, I ahve to study for my exams already. Tomorow is my first paper. Chinese 4 final exam.

For people like Jacinta, Toongshien, will sure find it super easy. Unfortunately, I have big problem with it. Quite afraid I get C on this module. I normally won't care so much for my grade, but C for Chinese is simple unacceptable for me. Gotta study hard for this. After that, will have 4 finals in the exam period. Been giving up SSD2213. It is a fun module, but I'm not quite sure how to study it. Luckily still can S/U it. Hehe. My 3 econs mods, not easy, but doable. And I have plan quite a lot of times to study them. he he.

This semester is sure my toughest sem until now, especially when I am in the middle of it. So many CAs. But, now, after I left with only one last assignment, I dun feel the stress anymore. I simply gone. He he.

Today is 15th already. In less than 1 month, HOLIDAY ler... He he. Going back home on 7th may. Have to use this holiday well. Hmm... Then, go to retreat on June, and probably going to Bali for tour. After that, gotta come back NUS to do special term. If possible, maybe I can grad by December this year. He he...

Reflecting back into my life, I think I rarely do something wholeheartedly and give alll I've got. 

It just seems to me that I have been taking things too likely. Probably one of the thing that I put more effort is in my spiritual practice. But even so, I haven;t put in maximum effort yet.

I remember back in high school, Pei Yung is a very good debater. And If I not mistaken, she said she train herself like everyday, trying to imporve herself. And yeah, she did become a very good debater, even able to represent Indonesia in a world championship in debating, for high school students. 

In high school, I am not that bad also. But I also never really put whole effort in what I'm doing. Still remember when I am the first in the Science Olympics in Physics, province level. I simply dun believe it until I receive the formal letter. Ha ha... then I study a bit more for prep for national level one, but still, I dun give it all. Compare to Rudy RTK, he is so antu in it, and can see how much effort he put in. I lose in the end, and he managed to represent Indonesia in the world level. SOmetimes, when I relfect back, I wonder what will happen If I give it all that time. But I can't turn back time, can I?

So, with that in mind, I shud give out everything I've got in doing the important thing. So that there won;t be any regret later. CAP is still not the issue, as that was what I have in mind when I came to NUS. Now that I am clear what;s really matter, isn't it the time to do it seriously? Why I still procrastinate then?

Have to start planning my future carefully d as well, as I m graduating the latest next year June. So have to prepare myself d. 

25 ways to win with people

From John Maxwell and Les Parrot's book:

1. Start from ourselves.
Ask, how can I increase my value in order to benefit others and myself? (maybe things like cutting down bad habits, smile more, be kinder, practice more, start own biz, share with others, be humbler, etc).
Then, list the things you can improve about yourself, along with the specific steps.
Your relationship can only be healthy as you are.

2. practice the 30 second rule.
It means to give sincere and positive encouragement or something that is encouraging like thank you to everyone we meet in the first 30 seconds, to make them feel great and give them positive impact. 3A: undivided Attention, Affirm them and show your Appreciation for them in some ways.
Ask, what positive, encouraging things can I say to each person I will see today?
Remember, within the first 30 seconds of conversation, say something encouraging. make it a habit!

3. let people know you need them.
To make others to join a team magic sentence: I can;t do it without you. Leaders can become great only when they recognize they are the ones who need people. People need to be needed and need to know they need people.,that they are needed, and that they helped.
Ask, who specifically can help me do a better job than i can do alone. Sincerely ask others for help and attend carefully to what they have to say. Great leader make others feel that they are at the very heart of things, not at the periphery

4. Create a moment and visit it often.
Plan an experience that will commemorate an achievement or milestone that people will talk about years from now and dun forget to create a memento with it. Don't wait for the memories to happen to us. We need to make memories happen.

5. Compliment people in front of other people.
People want to feel worthwhile in life. Compliment and Affirm others. Affirmation is a statement of truth you make firm in a person;s heart when u utter it.

unhealthy food

Hmm... So many super tasty unhealthy food around.. Have been trying to substitute it with fruits, but still not able to cut them 100%..
Hahaha.

Yeah, I've to admit, I still crave for those foods a lots, like potato chips, nuts, sweets, and so forth.
All of them is quite to very unhealthy, but very nice. On the other hands, fruits are nice, and healthy. But sometimes, the craving is very strong. So I guess, cut them down suddenly won't be lasting. I suppose I have to try to cut them down progressively, slowly slowly.

So, as of now, try to associate unhealthy with those foods, and try to sub with fruits as much as possible. Once in a while can eat them, but limit the quatity and reflect on the unhealthiness. ( :

New business vision

Yeah, when I'm showering this morning, a new inspiration come to me.

I think that it would be great to built a company that help others build their own, big and small.

I would like to focus more on small and medium one though, and help them with their plan, financing, execution, and management. This can for sure benefits their circle, and if I can help a lot people build their own business, then a lot of other people can benefits.

I will turn this into reality someday. Set up a company or foundation to help other to achieve their dream. I think that there has been a lot worldwide, but not many in Indonesia. So, i would really love to start it in Indonesia, to help build my countries. 

We can't only rely on government to build our countries, but we need to build as well.

Richard Branson: Screw it, Let's Do it!

Here is the precious lessons I learn from this book:

!. JUst Do It!

Beleive that it can be done. Don't say: I can;t do this because I don't know how to do. Give it a go!

Have goals! Life live to the full. Don't waste the precious time.

Never give up! Prepare well. If you want to do something, than do it. Prepare, then do it. Have goals, beleive that you can do it, and keep on doing and learning. 

Have faith in yourself, and help each other. 

2. Have Fun!

Have fun, work hard and money will come.

Don't waste time, and grab your chances. Have a positive outlook on live.

When it is no fun, move on. (My opinion: change it, or move on. If nothing can be done anymore, then let it go, move on! DOn't be stuck on a small things.)

Don't always expect instant result or profits. Be patient in reaping the rewards. Sometimes it may take some time. Never just try to make money. Long term success will never come if profit is the only aim. 

3. Be Bold!

Calculate the risk, and take them. Weigh up the odds in everything you do. 

Believe in yourself. Chase your goals and dreams. 

Have no regrets. Once you decide to do something, don't look back. Have no regret!

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Be glad when you win. Rejoice. but don't have regrets when you lose. Don't look back. You can't change the past. 

Be bold, but dont gamble. Don't gamble on something that you can't control. Beware if the risks are too random or too hard to predict. 

Keep your words.

4. Challenge yourself. 

Aim high. Try new things. Always try, and chanllenge yourself. 

Everything is possible if you try. 

5. Stand in your own feet.

Rely on yourself. Listen with care to everyone, but rely on yourself and make your own mind. 

If you want milk, don't sit on the stool in the middle of a field in the hope that the cow will back you up. Don't just sit around. Catch the cow.

Chase you dreams but live in the real wordl.

Work together. 

6. Live the moment. 

Live life and live it to the full. Enjoy the moment.

Reflect on your life. Took each day as it comes. 

Make every second count.

Don't have regrets. Live in the moment.

Money is a means to an end, not an end itself. 

7. Value family and friends.

Put family and tema first. Be loyal.

Face problems head on.Stop it from getting worse.

It's best to bring things out into the open. A dispute with friends or colleague can be sorted in a friendly way. 

Money is for making things happen.

Pick the right people and reward talent.

8. Have Respect. 

Be Polite and Respectful. Keep your eyes and ears open, and be polite. You never know who might hear or see you.

Respect is about how to treat everyone, not only those you want to impress. 

Do the right thing. Keep your good name. Don't break the law, or do something illegally. 

Be fair in all your dealings. Don't cheat, but aim to win.

Never do anything if it means you can;t sleep at night. 

9. Do some good. 

Change the world,even if in a small way. 

Make a difference and help others.  One very simple ways is to do no harm which cost nothing at all. 

Do no harm. Always think what you can do to help. Don;t only think if what we could do for ourselves, but also what we can do for others.

We need to lose our bad habits or lazy way that hold us back and clutter our minds. 

Ten minutes, once gone are gone for good. Divide your life into ten-minutes units, and donlt waste even a minute.(by IKEA founder).

Whatever we want to be, whatever we want to do, we can do it. Go ahead, take the first step-just do it.

Say:" How it can be done, how to do it" instead of "No, it can be done! There is no way. Impossible!"

How many times we feel that something cannot be done, then a few moment later we see other people already doing it?

It is impossible for human to fly. Now we can reach the other part of the world by flight in less than a day!

And a lot of other similiar stories.

So, I believe that I need to change my attitude. Instead of keep on saying, " Ah, this thing cannot be done, that thing is impossilbe, bla bla bla", we should think," Ah, this is a great thing. If I can do it, I can benefit a lot people. So, How to do this? What I need to do to make it possilbe?"

See, If we ask a How question, we can figure out the way to do it. But if we say No, CANNOT, then, for sure, we can't.

Of course, before the how, the why is even more important. If those thing are worthless thing, then don't bother. But if it is something really important, and beneficial, go for it!

Find the way, ask around, and sooner or later, We'll make it!

Think Big: Start Small

I sometimes feel a bit low of myself, that I don;t have anything that is really great. I have lots of things I wan to master, but right now, I still great at very little to none.

SO, I really need to work harder. Keep on thinking won't make me a master of sth. But constant learning and improvement will. It need not ti be an instant, as what we fond of at this present day. But, if I want to be a master, I can expect myself to like go to a super course then suddenly, abakadabra, here come the great master. So, I really have to constantly train myself. And do it!

Reading is only part of it. Learning is not complete until you start practising.

So, everyday, learn a bit, after 1 year, it is not a bit anymore, but it is HUGE!

Everyday learn 2 new chinese words. 1 year already learn 700 words. 5 years learn 3500 words.

WoW!

You see, this is the power of consistency. 

So, I need to put more effort, go for essential things, gain knowledge, practice, and master it!

SAddhu!

Stress free life.

Stress free life. Is it possible?
I used to think that I can only be stress free after I am done with all my assignments, test, projects. But the truth is they never really end, and only end for a while after the semester end. So, if I am to wait until then, i will be under constant stress?
Yeah, at least that is what I feel. And it is very unhealthy, both for body and mind.
So, instead of longing for stress free, I think i instead need to let go of the stress.
Maybe by reducing the clinging towards the assignments and projects, then meditate more, and exercise more.

Yeah, now trying to exercise and meditate daily. Hopefully I can have a better life.
Maybe the result won't be so fast, but if it is done consistently, positive results should show itself after 2 weeks.

Now, I need to go back to my study. Tomorrow got test. (:

Let's start all over again

I feel very tired these 2 days. Yeah, since yesterday. It was both mentally and physically.
Is it that I am really tired? or It is just that I feel tired? Sometimes, I was wondering whether this thing is real or not.

Then, today after coming back from the forum, plan to rest for a while, then go cakkavala, but overslept. SO, here am I, blogging instead of going cakkavala. haha.
Anyway, I figure out that sleeping sometimes is not very effective. I've slept for 1 hour plus, but when I get up, I still feel tired. After that I do some meditation, and I can feel that my body is rejuvenating. So, the conclusion is mind is the leader, the source. If the mind is fresh, strong, and wholesome, it is going to influence the body as well.

A lot of times, we are mentally tired rather than physically tired. However, mentally fatigue also may cause bodily fatigue. THus, we may feel very very tired. SO, if we try to rest our body, relax our body, that might not be enough. If it is really only bodily fatigue, normal rest is enough, but if the real source is mental one, then it is not enough. Thus, we need to be clear with ourselves, and then can use a correct method to deal with it. Nevertheless, I think that meditation can cure both mental and physical fatigue. And not only that, It can help rejuvenate and give energy as well. Especially when the five Jhana factor arise (piti, sukha, etc). Thus, if we are very tired, meditate! (:

Then, I also contemplate a lot today. You see, we always try to do something, to maximize our usage of time, and to maximize utility. But, at the end of the day, what really matter? What is the real essential thing?
A lot of times, we are so busy with something that we never really check whether the things that we are doing is a right one or not. Then, time simply flies, and one day we wake up, knowing that all we have been doing is not the essential thing that we should have been doing.

So, I decide to start all over again. To start my life as a new person. My purpose of life is still the same, and yeah, a purpose is very important. If we don;t have any direction, we may lose our way. ANd choosing a right purpose is also very important. Make sure that it is something wholesome and worthwhile to be pursued. As for me, spiritual purpose come first. I feel that this is the most important thing I have to do, and that this is the most essential things, most important mission in my life. ANd not easy as well.
Furthermore, there is something unique in pursuing such kind of purpose. You see, normal worldy purpose, let say getting rich and famous, or to be more specific, wiining a noble price and having net worth of 100 millions dollars. In the process of pursuing it, life might be great, especially when we think of how great it will be after we achieve those. But, a lot of times, after we get them, the satisfaction is very short, then after that, there will be blank phase. Life suddenly seems reach it end, and there seems to be nothing else to be done. Then, we seek other purpose again, so to give meaning to life again. Of course, this might not applied to every purpose, (if your purpose is to help others, to eradicate corruption, then such things will hardly end, so this is a different case). But, a spiritual purpose, like in the Buddha's teaching one, is the cessation of the desire itself. So, i think that this is very cool. Though I haven't able to fully comprehend it.

But we are still lay man, so we also should now our position in this life, and do our duty. SO, it is best to have a few purpose of life, and include one spiritual purpose in it. With this, life may become more meaningful.

May all beings be well, happy and peaceful!

Recess week ends le

Ya.. It's Saturday le. Recess week end le... SO fast time pass..
Our life also, very fast, will end also. Until then, What have we done?
Have we done the essential one? Or have we not?

I just come back from Cakkavala. Being with friends like this is very good. A supportive and encouraging friends, together practice. I always find my determination on this path get streghten whenever I go there. So, I always make it my priority going there.

Today sitting not very good, I am not mindful, and the mind is kind of drowsy..
I think i fell asleep for a while as well.
Come to think about it, I suspect that listening to too much music make my mind weaker. This recess week, my music and movie consumption triple or even more. Play a lot of games too. I think this really make my mind lots weaker. Have to stop it and get back to my daily practice le.

Ya.. Have to restart daily meditation again. I think this time I will train in metta bhavana. So, to soften my heart as well. Just now Roni shared that in order to be great in sth, need to train up tp 10000 hours. Wuah! And so if I train in meditation so little then little progress then lazy alr, I shud be shameful.... Hehehe

So, anyway, let;s get back to daily practice. Live a full and happy life.
(:

Recess Week

Wuah.. So long never blog le..
Hahaha..
Yeah, now is recess week le. But, I dun really feel like in a recess week. Still got a lot of assignments.. projects... tests.... haha...

But at least there is nothing due this week,, hehe.

Anyway, I am quite slack this few days, so I think I do have a bit recess. Well, Now need to start doing my works alr..

Ganbatte!!!

Real Hapiness, Where?

Yesterday, I finally finished my Tr project. The date line is today, and I finish it right this morning, 12.15 am. So now, I can do my SSD projects, Econometrics assignment, and prepare for chinese quiz and also public finance proposal, all of which will due this week.

Well, I think that after this busy n tiring week, I wan to have a small break, and thus after waking up this morning, I play some game, go online, but it actually don't really give me happiness. This actually make me think a bit: indeed, a lot of people going to work everyday, work that they don;t really enjoy, work that instead of give more colour to their life, drain the heart and soul, then after a while, they say they need a break, need some rest, and sometimes do it unwholesomely. Of course, they can not be trully happy this way, and then their life feel so heavy, and everyday is like a battle, a futile battle.

I don;t know how many percent of the world population that live like that. But, this is almost what I am experiencing right now. COme to think of it, It is not worth it. Human rebirth is something that is very precious, and if I just spend my time doing such things that drain my mental energy, give rise to unwholesome actions n thoughts, isn't that means I am wasting my life?

Then I ask myself, How to be trully happy? I believe that a lot of us actually know the answer deep inside the heart, and for me, I feel really happy when I am in a meditation retreat, Why? Simply because almost every moment in the retreat is wholesome one. Wholesome thoughts wll give rise to happiness, and with happy mind, life become great and beautiful.

However, we are not in a retreat now. We are in this normal worldy life, and if we bring the retreat life here, it is unappropriate also.

Nevertheless, daily meditation do help the mind to become stringer and lighter. With a stringer mind, it is easier to be happy. Developing a kind heart is also very important, as a kind heart is a soft heart, and a soft heart tend to be happier. Have a simple life is also good. Yeah, we can't bring retreat life in daily worldly life, but we can still practice in daily life. And as long as we are walking in the right direction, happiness will sure follow. It just the way it is. Like if we put NaOH + HCl, it will produce NaCl + H20, so if we practice, we are going to get the results (NaCl) and the side effect, happiness (H20). I think that this is just a natural process.

In the end, I think that it is actually not so much of what we do externally, but it is what is inside that counts. If the inner is right, the outer will be right as well. Of course, to have a right inner, it takes time and effort, so we can start from the right outer as well.
Sometimes, We will have to do things that we don;t like, at times like this, it might be better to change the perspective, instead of complaining. Then, If we can live each moment correctly, happily, then this human rebirth will not be a waste, and after this life, we can have another good rebirth, till the enlightement.

May all beings be well, happy and peaceful.

Sunset is coming soon

A very beautiful message by my teacher, Sayalay Dipankara.



Do you know where you came from?
What are you doing now?
Where do you want to go?

We have seen the sun rise (rebirth)
Now we are using up the energy from the sun (aging)
Soon the sun will be setting…. (death)

Are you ready to face the sun set?
Will you be happy or worried when the sun sets?

I will also have to face the sunset very soon.
Before that happens, I want to build a pagoda in my
heart.

The pagoda will be built with loving-kindness,
compassion, patience, truth and understanding. I hope
that you will also build the pagoda in your heart before
the sunset arrives.

When you ‘see’ the pagoda, wisdom will arise with
happiness.

And the sunset will be beautiful for you…

17 November 2003


Personally, I am also trying to build a Pagoda in my heart. I hope that I can make it in time, before the sun set. (:

May all beings be well and happy.

Developing the heart

Recently, I feel that my heart is like roller coaster, I feel that my heart has been imbalance and unsteady. Well, that might be the charactersitic of feeling: anicca, but for sure, I still lack a lot of mental training. I should develop more equanimity. Like yesterday, I was very worried for my essay, then happy for a while. Then attending the meditation retreat, wuah, very good. Then when I look back to my assignments, hmm, down again.
Thus, training the heart and mind is very important.

Another thing is that I have to do the things that I have to do. Don't procrastinate or do those unnecassary things anymore. Ok, it might be hard to cut them all at once, and based on experience, cutting all of them all at once will last for a very short period, and also cause more harm. So, better to do daily positive reinforcement, rather than massive but unsustainable actions. I should know my own limit, and should build upon this.

Then, food matter. Hmm, I think I have been eating healthier now. Yay! Havent consume fast food for some time, and still all right. Instead, there is no desire to eat those, as whenever the pictures come out, the unhealthy factor like the fat and so forth is domineering. So, I think it's pretty good. Snacks consumption has gone down as well. Which is also a very good sign. But I still dun exercise regularly, which i heavily need! So, maintain healthy diet, and exercise regularly.

Then, cut down laziness! This is quite serious now. Laziness is also one of the main hindrances in the path. So, i needa put more effort. Also need to be more consistent.

In the end, it all comes back to the mind. Develop the mind with the wholesome qualities, especially with metta and mudita, besides Dana and Sila, which is the basis of the path.

Cheers

Oh?

Hi, I am doing my econs essay now. Yesterday, I did my presentation, on the same topic as the essay. It turns out to be a good presentation, though my preparation is not neat. Haha. Anw, after I presented, and hear others presentation, I now understand the topic more, and hence can improve on my current essay. The deadline is tomorrow, so I hope I can produce a good essay.

This semester is really tiring, with so many presentation, projects, bla3. This week alone I have 2 presentation, 1 essay and 1 project. However, it is really fun. I feel more like a real university student now also. haha. And, the great thing is that, although I have been thinking to slack this sem, it turns out that I only ditch 1 class. Wuah, that is quite a record for me. Haha. Normally, there is just at least a class that is simply to boring and useless to attend. But this sem, almost all is very great. Yep. The modules are tough, but fun. (:

So, hopefully that this sem can be a fruitful semester.
May everybody has a great semester as well.!

Tired

I feel so tired mentally... Ah.. I dun like to write essay. Really, i think i dun very good at it. But now i have to write it. Ah.. but this shall pass soon. Anw, I have finish the draft, so just need to work on it. Hopefully everything goes well.

Think need to do more meditation. My mental hs been quite weak recently. This is really a though week, but after this and one more week, it's goin to be recess week. Yay! That means I can really rest a bit. Until then, still have to strive!

(:

Taking charge of my life

All the constraint to my self development is my mind. Hence, If I want to develop myself, I will have to conquer myself first. It is really all up to me, whether I want to practice hard, or indulge in laziness, whether I want to be more virtuous, or indulge in sensual pleasure.

Of course, with my current level of wisdom, I still not able to fully comprehend what is wholesome and what is unwholesome. However, I know that developing virtue is wholesome, and indulging in sensual pleasure is unwholesome. Greed, hatred and delusion are unwholesome, while loving kindness, generosity, virtue, faith, effort, mindfulness, wisdom, equanimity, are wholesome.

Thus, it is actually quite clear what should be done and what should not be. The simplest way might be to check the heart base, whether the mental factors arising is wholesome or unwholesome, and using right effort to always be wholesome. Of course, by using mindfulness also.

All of this practice are not easy, really not easy, but it is worth all the effort. This is the things that can lead me to real happiness, one of my life main purposes.

Remember this: True Dhamma rarely exist in this world, The chance of being reborn as human being is also very rare, the chance of listening to The True Dhamma is very rare and the chance of practising may be even rarer. So, I have to strive deligently. I have to always try my best in developing myself.

Apamadena Sampadetha! (Strive with Heedfulness!)

Sadhu!

Meditation

Just back from NUSBS Meditation course. Well, I am not there for the whole session, but it is always great to be in a meditation group.
This time, our teacher is Bhante Cittara, from Mangala Vihara. After the session finish, which is at ard 8pm, he gave us time to ask question. But nobody ask question. Haha. All are Asian, so all keep silence. Then, he told us that it had been always lidat. Asian always feel shy to ask, only when the seession end and time to go back, then some ppl will approach him, and ask,"Bhante...."...
Haha. After that, 1 guy ask a question.
After that... silence again.... Kyaw try to get some feedback from other students, saying that this 30 minutes is for us to ask question, and ask for suggestion, but well, there is just no response. In the end, got 1 response, but i forget already. Haha. After all, we end at ard 8.15.

Back to my own practice, has been slacking recently. Hearing Bhante advice to practice daily, once again, I determine I have to again re-establish my daily practice. Ah, shoud do some recoleection on death as well. Then, shud develop metta, karuna, and mudita.

Nothing much to say about today, except one silly things i do in my chinese quiz. I am supposed to make a sentence with word "比如",and the teacher told us that it must be more than 18 words. Then I make long long sentence, thinking of putting the word at the end of the sentence, but end up forget to put it. Haha. SO, it end up a long sentence without the required word. Only realise this a few minutes after I submit my paper. Haha. Have to be more mindful hor!!!! (:

Some thoughts of the day:
1. Always be happy
2. BE happy
3. I am happy. (:

(:

Traning the mind

I think recently I have read too much manga, that my head is filled with funny funny things. Actually I never plan to read that much, and it all start from reading a bit, but a lot of time ended up reading a lot. This is called a weak mind. I should have more determination, And should train my mind more. If I feel very tired, and want to relax, don't turn to manga, but turn to those quality book, that is edifying and inspiring.

Remember, that we may die anytime. It really can be just anytime. So, live the life to the fullest, never have any regreat,. Live in the present, and always try to do our best. If we always live all the moment wholesomely, that we won;t be afraid of death. But now, truthfully, I am still afraid of death. Haha. I still feel that I havent really done the things that I have to do.

My teacher ever told me, training the mind is like training the kid. You can't be too hard, or too loose. You have to do it middle way. Also, right thing at the right time. If the mind is tired, give it some rest. If it is too high, calm it down. The key here is mindfulness. If one is able to me mindful all the time, then one will be able to do his best at the moment.

Now, about my own spiritual practice, I think the progress has been quite slow recently. It;s time to rejuvenate myself. Yay! Have to be more discipline in my practice. But luckily, my precepts are still quite strong. Hehe. Need to work harder in developing my concentration.

Some list of qualities that I want to develop:
1. Be more humble
2. Be kinder
3. Be happier
4. Be more mindful
5. Be more gentle
6. Be more discipline
7. Be more generous
8. Be more stable
9. Be more joyful
10. Be more enthusiast
11. Be more efficient
12. Be faster

Hope that I can be better, and better, and better in all aspects.

May all beings be well and happy!
Sadhu!

Heavy Semester?

Arh... Feel so sianz this semester. Really, I never dream that this sem will be this heavy. Still remember when I am in year 1 I still can slack all the time. Last sem was quite heavy, but still ok.
This sem, haih... so fast, assignments all due already. And my first 3000 words econs essay, really got no mood to do it. Sometimes just wondering why I am here.. Haha

But, no matter what is it, this too shall pass. In a flash of time, this semester will end. Anyway, now is week 4 already, means that 1/4 semester has over. Wuah! So fast. And I am still in holiday mood. Still feel like slacking. Haha. But quite funny, though a lot of assignments in front of my eyes, I still feel very calm, a bit of stress, but don;t have a lot of worries. haha. Don' know if sth is wrong inside.

Well, tomorow is my first chinese quiz. This chinese 4 is really not easy le, have to really study. Not like previus chinese 2, 3, where I can still slack. My SSD also, though I plan to just S/U it, so that I can just enjoy the study, still feel a bit of stress because of the workload. But it is very fun! Haha.

Yeah, come to think of it, it's a matter of perspective. If we see our brothers from the other side of the world, like from Africa, they even don;t have chance to study, to go to school, not to say university, so actually I am very lucky, aren't I? Come to think about this, My life has always been very fortunate and blessed. Since I was a kid till today, I never really lack of anything. So, I am really grateful for this.

So, whatever is it, let's enjoy it. Let's try to do the best in every moment, and I will to the best throught my life. Live every moment with happiness and love. (:(:(:

Also, always be bigger than the problem, bigger than the assignments, bigger than the essay!
Yay! I can do it, Yes, I can!

Slam Dunk

Reading Slam Dunk, Find some interesting points that can be applied in daily life:
1. Even Genius need to practice. Yeah, even one is born talented, but if one don't practice persistently and continuously, one will not be able to become a master.
Thus, practice is the key. No matter what is it, if one practice continuously and persistently, with the right method, then one can become a master on any subject.

2. Use leverage. Perhaps the best self leverage is the synergy between quantity and quality, and also the synergy among the quality. Put more time to practice, and also practice in a correct and effective manner.

3. To further enhance the skills, challenge the tougher opponent. This can be other stronger people or ourselves. Yes, one of the strongest opponent one can ever find is himself. This explain why people that strive and struggle in suffering will grow stronger and tougher.

4. Last point: Do it full force. Never do it half heart, or almost full heart. To be able to succeed, one has to give all one got, to be sincere and full heart. Passion, drive, excitement, joy; these are some of the qualities that will bring one to victory!

A New Beginning

Today is 15th January and it is 7.20 pm now. What does this mean? It means that I am already 19 years old now. Yeah, I have been living in this world for 19 years. Not a long period, but not a short one as well.

Today also is just another day, but it has a special meaning, it marks the start of a new beginning of my life.

Looking back, a lot of things had happened, both good and not very good things. In the future also, a lot of things are going to happen.

Thus, I hope, with this new beginning, I can better myself more and more, to bring peace and joy to myslef and surroundings. and to grow to be a better man!