25 ways to win with people

From John Maxwell and Les Parrot's book:

1. Start from ourselves.
Ask, how can I increase my value in order to benefit others and myself? (maybe things like cutting down bad habits, smile more, be kinder, practice more, start own biz, share with others, be humbler, etc).
Then, list the things you can improve about yourself, along with the specific steps.
Your relationship can only be healthy as you are.

2. practice the 30 second rule.
It means to give sincere and positive encouragement or something that is encouraging like thank you to everyone we meet in the first 30 seconds, to make them feel great and give them positive impact. 3A: undivided Attention, Affirm them and show your Appreciation for them in some ways.
Ask, what positive, encouraging things can I say to each person I will see today?
Remember, within the first 30 seconds of conversation, say something encouraging. make it a habit!

3. let people know you need them.
To make others to join a team magic sentence: I can;t do it without you. Leaders can become great only when they recognize they are the ones who need people. People need to be needed and need to know they need people.,that they are needed, and that they helped.
Ask, who specifically can help me do a better job than i can do alone. Sincerely ask others for help and attend carefully to what they have to say. Great leader make others feel that they are at the very heart of things, not at the periphery

4. Create a moment and visit it often.
Plan an experience that will commemorate an achievement or milestone that people will talk about years from now and dun forget to create a memento with it. Don't wait for the memories to happen to us. We need to make memories happen.

5. Compliment people in front of other people.
People want to feel worthwhile in life. Compliment and Affirm others. Affirmation is a statement of truth you make firm in a person;s heart when u utter it.

unhealthy food

Hmm... So many super tasty unhealthy food around.. Have been trying to substitute it with fruits, but still not able to cut them 100%..
Hahaha.

Yeah, I've to admit, I still crave for those foods a lots, like potato chips, nuts, sweets, and so forth.
All of them is quite to very unhealthy, but very nice. On the other hands, fruits are nice, and healthy. But sometimes, the craving is very strong. So I guess, cut them down suddenly won't be lasting. I suppose I have to try to cut them down progressively, slowly slowly.

So, as of now, try to associate unhealthy with those foods, and try to sub with fruits as much as possible. Once in a while can eat them, but limit the quatity and reflect on the unhealthiness. ( :

New business vision

Yeah, when I'm showering this morning, a new inspiration come to me.

I think that it would be great to built a company that help others build their own, big and small.

I would like to focus more on small and medium one though, and help them with their plan, financing, execution, and management. This can for sure benefits their circle, and if I can help a lot people build their own business, then a lot of other people can benefits.

I will turn this into reality someday. Set up a company or foundation to help other to achieve their dream. I think that there has been a lot worldwide, but not many in Indonesia. So, i would really love to start it in Indonesia, to help build my countries. 

We can't only rely on government to build our countries, but we need to build as well.

Richard Branson: Screw it, Let's Do it!

Here is the precious lessons I learn from this book:

!. JUst Do It!

Beleive that it can be done. Don't say: I can;t do this because I don't know how to do. Give it a go!

Have goals! Life live to the full. Don't waste the precious time.

Never give up! Prepare well. If you want to do something, than do it. Prepare, then do it. Have goals, beleive that you can do it, and keep on doing and learning. 

Have faith in yourself, and help each other. 

2. Have Fun!

Have fun, work hard and money will come.

Don't waste time, and grab your chances. Have a positive outlook on live.

When it is no fun, move on. (My opinion: change it, or move on. If nothing can be done anymore, then let it go, move on! DOn't be stuck on a small things.)

Don't always expect instant result or profits. Be patient in reaping the rewards. Sometimes it may take some time. Never just try to make money. Long term success will never come if profit is the only aim. 

3. Be Bold!

Calculate the risk, and take them. Weigh up the odds in everything you do. 

Believe in yourself. Chase your goals and dreams. 

Have no regrets. Once you decide to do something, don't look back. Have no regret!

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Be glad when you win. Rejoice. but don't have regrets when you lose. Don't look back. You can't change the past. 

Be bold, but dont gamble. Don't gamble on something that you can't control. Beware if the risks are too random or too hard to predict. 

Keep your words.

4. Challenge yourself. 

Aim high. Try new things. Always try, and chanllenge yourself. 

Everything is possible if you try. 

5. Stand in your own feet.

Rely on yourself. Listen with care to everyone, but rely on yourself and make your own mind. 

If you want milk, don't sit on the stool in the middle of a field in the hope that the cow will back you up. Don't just sit around. Catch the cow.

Chase you dreams but live in the real wordl.

Work together. 

6. Live the moment. 

Live life and live it to the full. Enjoy the moment.

Reflect on your life. Took each day as it comes. 

Make every second count.

Don't have regrets. Live in the moment.

Money is a means to an end, not an end itself. 

7. Value family and friends.

Put family and tema first. Be loyal.

Face problems head on.Stop it from getting worse.

It's best to bring things out into the open. A dispute with friends or colleague can be sorted in a friendly way. 

Money is for making things happen.

Pick the right people and reward talent.

8. Have Respect. 

Be Polite and Respectful. Keep your eyes and ears open, and be polite. You never know who might hear or see you.

Respect is about how to treat everyone, not only those you want to impress. 

Do the right thing. Keep your good name. Don't break the law, or do something illegally. 

Be fair in all your dealings. Don't cheat, but aim to win.

Never do anything if it means you can;t sleep at night. 

9. Do some good. 

Change the world,even if in a small way. 

Make a difference and help others.  One very simple ways is to do no harm which cost nothing at all. 

Do no harm. Always think what you can do to help. Don;t only think if what we could do for ourselves, but also what we can do for others.

We need to lose our bad habits or lazy way that hold us back and clutter our minds. 

Ten minutes, once gone are gone for good. Divide your life into ten-minutes units, and donlt waste even a minute.(by IKEA founder).

Whatever we want to be, whatever we want to do, we can do it. Go ahead, take the first step-just do it.

Say:" How it can be done, how to do it" instead of "No, it can be done! There is no way. Impossible!"

How many times we feel that something cannot be done, then a few moment later we see other people already doing it?

It is impossible for human to fly. Now we can reach the other part of the world by flight in less than a day!

And a lot of other similiar stories.

So, I believe that I need to change my attitude. Instead of keep on saying, " Ah, this thing cannot be done, that thing is impossilbe, bla bla bla", we should think," Ah, this is a great thing. If I can do it, I can benefit a lot people. So, How to do this? What I need to do to make it possilbe?"

See, If we ask a How question, we can figure out the way to do it. But if we say No, CANNOT, then, for sure, we can't.

Of course, before the how, the why is even more important. If those thing are worthless thing, then don't bother. But if it is something really important, and beneficial, go for it!

Find the way, ask around, and sooner or later, We'll make it!

Think Big: Start Small

I sometimes feel a bit low of myself, that I don;t have anything that is really great. I have lots of things I wan to master, but right now, I still great at very little to none.

SO, I really need to work harder. Keep on thinking won't make me a master of sth. But constant learning and improvement will. It need not ti be an instant, as what we fond of at this present day. But, if I want to be a master, I can expect myself to like go to a super course then suddenly, abakadabra, here come the great master. So, I really have to constantly train myself. And do it!

Reading is only part of it. Learning is not complete until you start practising.

So, everyday, learn a bit, after 1 year, it is not a bit anymore, but it is HUGE!

Everyday learn 2 new chinese words. 1 year already learn 700 words. 5 years learn 3500 words.

WoW!

You see, this is the power of consistency. 

So, I need to put more effort, go for essential things, gain knowledge, practice, and master it!

SAddhu!

Stress free life.

Stress free life. Is it possible?
I used to think that I can only be stress free after I am done with all my assignments, test, projects. But the truth is they never really end, and only end for a while after the semester end. So, if I am to wait until then, i will be under constant stress?
Yeah, at least that is what I feel. And it is very unhealthy, both for body and mind.
So, instead of longing for stress free, I think i instead need to let go of the stress.
Maybe by reducing the clinging towards the assignments and projects, then meditate more, and exercise more.

Yeah, now trying to exercise and meditate daily. Hopefully I can have a better life.
Maybe the result won't be so fast, but if it is done consistently, positive results should show itself after 2 weeks.

Now, I need to go back to my study. Tomorrow got test. (:

Let's start all over again

I feel very tired these 2 days. Yeah, since yesterday. It was both mentally and physically.
Is it that I am really tired? or It is just that I feel tired? Sometimes, I was wondering whether this thing is real or not.

Then, today after coming back from the forum, plan to rest for a while, then go cakkavala, but overslept. SO, here am I, blogging instead of going cakkavala. haha.
Anyway, I figure out that sleeping sometimes is not very effective. I've slept for 1 hour plus, but when I get up, I still feel tired. After that I do some meditation, and I can feel that my body is rejuvenating. So, the conclusion is mind is the leader, the source. If the mind is fresh, strong, and wholesome, it is going to influence the body as well.

A lot of times, we are mentally tired rather than physically tired. However, mentally fatigue also may cause bodily fatigue. THus, we may feel very very tired. SO, if we try to rest our body, relax our body, that might not be enough. If it is really only bodily fatigue, normal rest is enough, but if the real source is mental one, then it is not enough. Thus, we need to be clear with ourselves, and then can use a correct method to deal with it. Nevertheless, I think that meditation can cure both mental and physical fatigue. And not only that, It can help rejuvenate and give energy as well. Especially when the five Jhana factor arise (piti, sukha, etc). Thus, if we are very tired, meditate! (:

Then, I also contemplate a lot today. You see, we always try to do something, to maximize our usage of time, and to maximize utility. But, at the end of the day, what really matter? What is the real essential thing?
A lot of times, we are so busy with something that we never really check whether the things that we are doing is a right one or not. Then, time simply flies, and one day we wake up, knowing that all we have been doing is not the essential thing that we should have been doing.

So, I decide to start all over again. To start my life as a new person. My purpose of life is still the same, and yeah, a purpose is very important. If we don;t have any direction, we may lose our way. ANd choosing a right purpose is also very important. Make sure that it is something wholesome and worthwhile to be pursued. As for me, spiritual purpose come first. I feel that this is the most important thing I have to do, and that this is the most essential things, most important mission in my life. ANd not easy as well.
Furthermore, there is something unique in pursuing such kind of purpose. You see, normal worldy purpose, let say getting rich and famous, or to be more specific, wiining a noble price and having net worth of 100 millions dollars. In the process of pursuing it, life might be great, especially when we think of how great it will be after we achieve those. But, a lot of times, after we get them, the satisfaction is very short, then after that, there will be blank phase. Life suddenly seems reach it end, and there seems to be nothing else to be done. Then, we seek other purpose again, so to give meaning to life again. Of course, this might not applied to every purpose, (if your purpose is to help others, to eradicate corruption, then such things will hardly end, so this is a different case). But, a spiritual purpose, like in the Buddha's teaching one, is the cessation of the desire itself. So, i think that this is very cool. Though I haven't able to fully comprehend it.

But we are still lay man, so we also should now our position in this life, and do our duty. SO, it is best to have a few purpose of life, and include one spiritual purpose in it. With this, life may become more meaningful.

May all beings be well, happy and peaceful!