I said A, now I say B

It is said that different people have different point of view on the same things. Money means differntly for different people, so do love, politic issues, good food, etc.

But now I feel that it is also true to say that at different point of time, we have different point of view on the same things. It is simply because our mental state keep on changing, so Eddy 1 hour ago, and Eddy 1 hour later is not the same. This explain why one said A, then say B.

Thinking back, there are a few occasions where people said A to me, but then later they say and do B, which confuse and sometimes irritate me. Now that I think back, it is a very silly of myself to do so, because all I got is more unwholesome thoughts and bad kamma. 

Also, by realizing this, a lot of my negative thoughts on people cease. It is so wonderful. So here, I witness how wisdom can bring joy and happiness. ^^

"Expecting people to be the same all the time is going to bring us suffering"~ Eddy.

Indeed, to expect others to be like this and like that, is dukkha. In short, the five aggregates are dukkha. 

A reflection on the mental attitude

When I am taking a fiesta this afternoon, a flash of high school memory come across my mind. I realize that I do really well in my high school study. Then, it come to my thoughts that in high school, I never really complain on any particular subjects, and yeah, I think I do quite well in all the subjects. I just took any difficult subject slowly, and just study them. Yeah, just study them, without really complaining that this hard, that not good, notes not good. Well, I refer more on my textbooks than my notes last time, so notes are not that important that time. But the point is, in studying a certain thing, I really go through them thoroughly, and "just study" them, until I get the point. 

Unlike now, I like to complain that this module is hard, the notes is not good, the lecturer is lousy, and so forth. In short, I keep on looking outward, to the things that is out of my control, rather than focusing in the things that are in my control. 

Now, I won't mind not going to lecture, skipping some chapters, not doing homework (I was not that diligent also, but still at least do my homework, though a lot of last minute). And as a result, I am not able to get a clear picture of some of the module. 

So, I suppose I have to change this attitude. Should take things more seriously.

Although I have agreed to play more and not serious in the university, I feel that I still don;t have a lot of spare time. I still spend a lot of time doing my school related work. So, I think it is better to be focus and serious. The key here is to be efficient, and at the same time, balance.

Well, I still got 2 more semester in NUS, so I think I may try new method. Ha ha. Of course, I still follow the motto" most with the least".

Ha ha

I am going home

Yeah. Exams are over. But i feel bloodyly tired. I feel like my mental is so weak and tired.

Yesterday and today are quite busy with packaging, and tomorow, I will fly back to Medan.

I realize that even after exam, my mental is still so stressed and tired. It seems that this is my heaviest semester in NUS, and a period where I lose my balance. I am acting weird sometimes also.

Ah... I am happy that it is over. So I can begin with my recovery. Next semester I shall not give myself too much stress. However, this actually shows my stress and pressure thresold, which is a good thing. I got to know myself better, and are clearer of where I should improve on. Clearly, I need to maintain my life balance, and to strengthen my heart. 

So, my recovery plan is mainly to strengthen my heart. I shall increase my meditation dosis. Looking backward, I actually hardly meditate regularly this semester, as oppose to previous semesters. And the difference is very clear. Even with short but regulat daily meditation, my heart are stronger, life is more balance, and my emotion is stable. I realize that my emotion has been very unstable this semester. Then, I shall read more edifying book. Book is cetainly a very useful medium to influence myself. Then, of course, some entertainment as well. I have been looking forward to watch movies... He he.

So, tomorow I am going home. Time really flies so fast. I feel that CNY is just s while ago, and now suddenly May has come, meaning that I have spent one third of 2009. WUah!

But now, what the heck! I dun wanna think so much. I just wanna go home.