Recently, I feel that my heart is like roller coaster, I feel that my heart has been imbalance and unsteady. Well, that might be the charactersitic of feeling: anicca, but for sure, I still lack a lot of mental training. I should develop more equanimity. Like yesterday, I was very worried for my essay, then happy for a while. Then attending the meditation retreat, wuah, very good. Then when I look back to my assignments, hmm, down again.
Thus, training the heart and mind is very important.
Another thing is that I have to do the things that I have to do. Don't procrastinate or do those unnecassary things anymore. Ok, it might be hard to cut them all at once, and based on experience, cutting all of them all at once will last for a very short period, and also cause more harm. So, better to do daily positive reinforcement, rather than massive but unsustainable actions. I should know my own limit, and should build upon this.
Then, food matter. Hmm, I think I have been eating healthier now. Yay! Havent consume fast food for some time, and still all right. Instead, there is no desire to eat those, as whenever the pictures come out, the unhealthy factor like the fat and so forth is domineering. So, I think it's pretty good. Snacks consumption has gone down as well. Which is also a very good sign. But I still dun exercise regularly, which i heavily need! So, maintain healthy diet, and exercise regularly.
Then, cut down laziness! This is quite serious now. Laziness is also one of the main hindrances in the path. So, i needa put more effort. Also need to be more consistent.
In the end, it all comes back to the mind. Develop the mind with the wholesome qualities, especially with metta and mudita, besides Dana and Sila, which is the basis of the path.
Cheers
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Oh?
Hi, I am doing my econs essay now. Yesterday, I did my presentation, on the same topic as the essay. It turns out to be a good presentation, though my preparation is not neat. Haha. Anw, after I presented, and hear others presentation, I now understand the topic more, and hence can improve on my current essay. The deadline is tomorrow, so I hope I can produce a good essay.
This semester is really tiring, with so many presentation, projects, bla3. This week alone I have 2 presentation, 1 essay and 1 project. However, it is really fun. I feel more like a real university student now also. haha. And, the great thing is that, although I have been thinking to slack this sem, it turns out that I only ditch 1 class. Wuah, that is quite a record for me. Haha. Normally, there is just at least a class that is simply to boring and useless to attend. But this sem, almost all is very great. Yep. The modules are tough, but fun. (:
So, hopefully that this sem can be a fruitful semester.
May everybody has a great semester as well.!
This semester is really tiring, with so many presentation, projects, bla3. This week alone I have 2 presentation, 1 essay and 1 project. However, it is really fun. I feel more like a real university student now also. haha. And, the great thing is that, although I have been thinking to slack this sem, it turns out that I only ditch 1 class. Wuah, that is quite a record for me. Haha. Normally, there is just at least a class that is simply to boring and useless to attend. But this sem, almost all is very great. Yep. The modules are tough, but fun. (:
So, hopefully that this sem can be a fruitful semester.
May everybody has a great semester as well.!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Tired
I feel so tired mentally... Ah.. I dun like to write essay. Really, i think i dun very good at it. But now i have to write it. Ah.. but this shall pass soon. Anw, I have finish the draft, so just need to work on it. Hopefully everything goes well.
Think need to do more meditation. My mental hs been quite weak recently. This is really a though week, but after this and one more week, it's goin to be recess week. Yay! That means I can really rest a bit. Until then, still have to strive!
(:
Think need to do more meditation. My mental hs been quite weak recently. This is really a though week, but after this and one more week, it's goin to be recess week. Yay! That means I can really rest a bit. Until then, still have to strive!
(:
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Taking charge of my life
All the constraint to my self development is my mind. Hence, If I want to develop myself, I will have to conquer myself first. It is really all up to me, whether I want to practice hard, or indulge in laziness, whether I want to be more virtuous, or indulge in sensual pleasure.
Of course, with my current level of wisdom, I still not able to fully comprehend what is wholesome and what is unwholesome. However, I know that developing virtue is wholesome, and indulging in sensual pleasure is unwholesome. Greed, hatred and delusion are unwholesome, while loving kindness, generosity, virtue, faith, effort, mindfulness, wisdom, equanimity, are wholesome.
Thus, it is actually quite clear what should be done and what should not be. The simplest way might be to check the heart base, whether the mental factors arising is wholesome or unwholesome, and using right effort to always be wholesome. Of course, by using mindfulness also.
All of this practice are not easy, really not easy, but it is worth all the effort. This is the things that can lead me to real happiness, one of my life main purposes.
Remember this: True Dhamma rarely exist in this world, The chance of being reborn as human being is also very rare, the chance of listening to The True Dhamma is very rare and the chance of practising may be even rarer. So, I have to strive deligently. I have to always try my best in developing myself.
Apamadena Sampadetha! (Strive with Heedfulness!)
Sadhu!
Of course, with my current level of wisdom, I still not able to fully comprehend what is wholesome and what is unwholesome. However, I know that developing virtue is wholesome, and indulging in sensual pleasure is unwholesome. Greed, hatred and delusion are unwholesome, while loving kindness, generosity, virtue, faith, effort, mindfulness, wisdom, equanimity, are wholesome.
Thus, it is actually quite clear what should be done and what should not be. The simplest way might be to check the heart base, whether the mental factors arising is wholesome or unwholesome, and using right effort to always be wholesome. Of course, by using mindfulness also.
All of this practice are not easy, really not easy, but it is worth all the effort. This is the things that can lead me to real happiness, one of my life main purposes.
Remember this: True Dhamma rarely exist in this world, The chance of being reborn as human being is also very rare, the chance of listening to The True Dhamma is very rare and the chance of practising may be even rarer. So, I have to strive deligently. I have to always try my best in developing myself.
Apamadena Sampadetha! (Strive with Heedfulness!)
Sadhu!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Meditation
Just back from NUSBS Meditation course. Well, I am not there for the whole session, but it is always great to be in a meditation group.
This time, our teacher is Bhante Cittara, from Mangala Vihara. After the session finish, which is at ard 8pm, he gave us time to ask question. But nobody ask question. Haha. All are Asian, so all keep silence. Then, he told us that it had been always lidat. Asian always feel shy to ask, only when the seession end and time to go back, then some ppl will approach him, and ask,"Bhante...."...
Haha. After that, 1 guy ask a question.
After that... silence again.... Kyaw try to get some feedback from other students, saying that this 30 minutes is for us to ask question, and ask for suggestion, but well, there is just no response. In the end, got 1 response, but i forget already. Haha. After all, we end at ard 8.15.
Back to my own practice, has been slacking recently. Hearing Bhante advice to practice daily, once again, I determine I have to again re-establish my daily practice. Ah, shoud do some recoleection on death as well. Then, shud develop metta, karuna, and mudita.
Nothing much to say about today, except one silly things i do in my chinese quiz. I am supposed to make a sentence with word "比如",and the teacher told us that it must be more than 18 words. Then I make long long sentence, thinking of putting the word at the end of the sentence, but end up forget to put it. Haha. SO, it end up a long sentence without the required word. Only realise this a few minutes after I submit my paper. Haha. Have to be more mindful hor!!!! (:
Some thoughts of the day:
1. Always be happy
2. BE happy
3. I am happy. (:
(:
This time, our teacher is Bhante Cittara, from Mangala Vihara. After the session finish, which is at ard 8pm, he gave us time to ask question. But nobody ask question. Haha. All are Asian, so all keep silence. Then, he told us that it had been always lidat. Asian always feel shy to ask, only when the seession end and time to go back, then some ppl will approach him, and ask,"Bhante...."...
Haha. After that, 1 guy ask a question.
After that... silence again.... Kyaw try to get some feedback from other students, saying that this 30 minutes is for us to ask question, and ask for suggestion, but well, there is just no response. In the end, got 1 response, but i forget already. Haha. After all, we end at ard 8.15.
Back to my own practice, has been slacking recently. Hearing Bhante advice to practice daily, once again, I determine I have to again re-establish my daily practice. Ah, shoud do some recoleection on death as well. Then, shud develop metta, karuna, and mudita.
Nothing much to say about today, except one silly things i do in my chinese quiz. I am supposed to make a sentence with word "比如",and the teacher told us that it must be more than 18 words. Then I make long long sentence, thinking of putting the word at the end of the sentence, but end up forget to put it. Haha. SO, it end up a long sentence without the required word. Only realise this a few minutes after I submit my paper. Haha. Have to be more mindful hor!!!! (:
Some thoughts of the day:
1. Always be happy
2. BE happy
3. I am happy. (:
(:
Monday, February 2, 2009
Traning the mind
I think recently I have read too much manga, that my head is filled with funny funny things. Actually I never plan to read that much, and it all start from reading a bit, but a lot of time ended up reading a lot. This is called a weak mind. I should have more determination, And should train my mind more. If I feel very tired, and want to relax, don't turn to manga, but turn to those quality book, that is edifying and inspiring.
Remember, that we may die anytime. It really can be just anytime. So, live the life to the fullest, never have any regreat,. Live in the present, and always try to do our best. If we always live all the moment wholesomely, that we won;t be afraid of death. But now, truthfully, I am still afraid of death. Haha. I still feel that I havent really done the things that I have to do.
My teacher ever told me, training the mind is like training the kid. You can't be too hard, or too loose. You have to do it middle way. Also, right thing at the right time. If the mind is tired, give it some rest. If it is too high, calm it down. The key here is mindfulness. If one is able to me mindful all the time, then one will be able to do his best at the moment.
Now, about my own spiritual practice, I think the progress has been quite slow recently. It;s time to rejuvenate myself. Yay! Have to be more discipline in my practice. But luckily, my precepts are still quite strong. Hehe. Need to work harder in developing my concentration.
Some list of qualities that I want to develop:
1. Be more humble
2. Be kinder
3. Be happier
4. Be more mindful
5. Be more gentle
6. Be more discipline
7. Be more generous
8. Be more stable
9. Be more joyful
10. Be more enthusiast
11. Be more efficient
12. Be faster
Hope that I can be better, and better, and better in all aspects.
May all beings be well and happy!
Sadhu!
Remember, that we may die anytime. It really can be just anytime. So, live the life to the fullest, never have any regreat,. Live in the present, and always try to do our best. If we always live all the moment wholesomely, that we won;t be afraid of death. But now, truthfully, I am still afraid of death. Haha. I still feel that I havent really done the things that I have to do.
My teacher ever told me, training the mind is like training the kid. You can't be too hard, or too loose. You have to do it middle way. Also, right thing at the right time. If the mind is tired, give it some rest. If it is too high, calm it down. The key here is mindfulness. If one is able to me mindful all the time, then one will be able to do his best at the moment.
Now, about my own spiritual practice, I think the progress has been quite slow recently. It;s time to rejuvenate myself. Yay! Have to be more discipline in my practice. But luckily, my precepts are still quite strong. Hehe. Need to work harder in developing my concentration.
Some list of qualities that I want to develop:
1. Be more humble
2. Be kinder
3. Be happier
4. Be more mindful
5. Be more gentle
6. Be more discipline
7. Be more generous
8. Be more stable
9. Be more joyful
10. Be more enthusiast
11. Be more efficient
12. Be faster
Hope that I can be better, and better, and better in all aspects.
May all beings be well and happy!
Sadhu!
Heavy Semester?
Arh... Feel so sianz this semester. Really, I never dream that this sem will be this heavy. Still remember when I am in year 1 I still can slack all the time. Last sem was quite heavy, but still ok.
This sem, haih... so fast, assignments all due already. And my first 3000 words econs essay, really got no mood to do it. Sometimes just wondering why I am here.. Haha
But, no matter what is it, this too shall pass. In a flash of time, this semester will end. Anyway, now is week 4 already, means that 1/4 semester has over. Wuah! So fast. And I am still in holiday mood. Still feel like slacking. Haha. But quite funny, though a lot of assignments in front of my eyes, I still feel very calm, a bit of stress, but don;t have a lot of worries. haha. Don' know if sth is wrong inside.
Well, tomorow is my first chinese quiz. This chinese 4 is really not easy le, have to really study. Not like previus chinese 2, 3, where I can still slack. My SSD also, though I plan to just S/U it, so that I can just enjoy the study, still feel a bit of stress because of the workload. But it is very fun! Haha.
Yeah, come to think of it, it's a matter of perspective. If we see our brothers from the other side of the world, like from Africa, they even don;t have chance to study, to go to school, not to say university, so actually I am very lucky, aren't I? Come to think about this, My life has always been very fortunate and blessed. Since I was a kid till today, I never really lack of anything. So, I am really grateful for this.
So, whatever is it, let's enjoy it. Let's try to do the best in every moment, and I will to the best throught my life. Live every moment with happiness and love. (:(:(:
Also, always be bigger than the problem, bigger than the assignments, bigger than the essay!
Yay! I can do it, Yes, I can!
This sem, haih... so fast, assignments all due already. And my first 3000 words econs essay, really got no mood to do it. Sometimes just wondering why I am here.. Haha
But, no matter what is it, this too shall pass. In a flash of time, this semester will end. Anyway, now is week 4 already, means that 1/4 semester has over. Wuah! So fast. And I am still in holiday mood. Still feel like slacking. Haha. But quite funny, though a lot of assignments in front of my eyes, I still feel very calm, a bit of stress, but don;t have a lot of worries. haha. Don' know if sth is wrong inside.
Well, tomorow is my first chinese quiz. This chinese 4 is really not easy le, have to really study. Not like previus chinese 2, 3, where I can still slack. My SSD also, though I plan to just S/U it, so that I can just enjoy the study, still feel a bit of stress because of the workload. But it is very fun! Haha.
Yeah, come to think of it, it's a matter of perspective. If we see our brothers from the other side of the world, like from Africa, they even don;t have chance to study, to go to school, not to say university, so actually I am very lucky, aren't I? Come to think about this, My life has always been very fortunate and blessed. Since I was a kid till today, I never really lack of anything. So, I am really grateful for this.
So, whatever is it, let's enjoy it. Let's try to do the best in every moment, and I will to the best throught my life. Live every moment with happiness and love. (:(:(:
Also, always be bigger than the problem, bigger than the assignments, bigger than the essay!
Yay! I can do it, Yes, I can!
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